Some of the best lessons I’ve learned about client communication have come from parenting my four-year-old daughter. She is particular, expressive, creative, and not always easy to decode. She has strong opinions, a fast-moving imagination, and a very clear sense of when something does not match what she had in mind.

Over the years, I’ve noticed that her requests tend to follow one or more of these three patterns:

  • She changes her mind after making her initial request.
  • She uses words that make sense to her, but needs translation before I can understand.
  • She knows what she wants, but isn’t sure how to articulate it.

The same three patterns show up regularly in our work at Digital Wave, and they’re especially common in higher ed and nonprofit work, where committees, shifting leadership, and tradition can increase the disconnects.

Changing Minds

While it seems to both of us that we have a deal, my daughter will frequently change her mind when I am in the process of fulfilling her request. We will make a plan to go somewhere, and while we’re on our way there, or even sometimes once we’ve arrived, she will come up with a better idea.

This happens with our clients as well. I’ve seen plenty of occasions where the client’s marketing team finally has an opportunity to see and visually process the results of a previous decision and then asks to change directions. It’s not necessarily indecision. Sometimes, once work moves from abstraction into context, people see it differently. It’s just all part of the creative process.

The lesson I learned from my daughter is to always leave room for such changes. Present the options you’re comfortable with, but consider from the start how you may need to pivot. When a client changes their mind, it helps to have a contingency plan. Having a contingency plan in mind from the outset can help you avoid unexpected rework costs.

Shared Words, Different Meanings

My daughter’s favorite candy is “sour jellybeans.” Whenever I need her to come with me on an errand or leave at a specific time, I’ve learned to have a stockpile of her preferred incentive. However, it wasn’t always that easy. I first had to figure out what “sour jellybeans” were. I assumed that “sour jellybeans” were exactly that: jelly beans that are sour. This is not the case. I needed to learn from her what she meant by “sour jellybeans.”

I asked her questions to better understand what she pictured. We looked at our options together until we finally found them: Sour Skittles. Now my whole family knows what a “sour jellybean” is.

A mismatch in vernacular requires patience from both sides to figure out. Both parties think they’re talking about the same thing, when in reality they’re talking about different topics.

Language mismatches aren’t about who’s right or who’s smarter. Language confusion can actually happen when a lot of intelligent people are in the same meeting. People often hesitate to ask clarifying questions, especially when they feel like everyone else already understands. However, “close enough” usually isn’t close enough at all, and a lack of clarification leads to issues later in the project. Treat misunderstandings as a shared problem, not a personal one. Don’t be afraid to pause the conversation and get clarity before the team goes too far, so you can pivot.

Articulating The Vision

I admire the creativity of a four-year-old. She loves to pick out her own outfit each morning, usually preferring fancy dresses over the drawer full of t-shirts. I let her take the lead, but sometimes she asks me to pick out her outfit. But I don’t always have a clear understanding of what she has in mind. I’ve learned to ask her about colors, clothing types, and materials so I can better help her realize her vision.

It’s not dissimilar to situations I’ve been in with clients. A content specialist asks for a new draft of a landing page. I write a section that I think solves their problem. It’s not until after I share it that we realize we weren’t on the same page about the style and tone requirements.

When you are asked to provide something specific, assume that the request isn’t specific enough. The problem that you think you are being asked to solve may not be the same as the problem that your client is thinking about. Before you start, share your planned approach with them, focusing on the outcomes they hope to get, and get that clarity before you invest the sweat equity.

It’s possible that the clarifications you ask about don’t even occur to your client when they make a request. The more clarity you can get about preferences and goals, the better chance you have to find the right solution for the situation on the first try.

Translation is About Understanding

Parenting is a constant lesson in communicating wants and needs. As my daughter grows, so do her needs. Every day, I run into a new situation or circumstance I have to interpret. With patience, care, and good communication, I find my way through, even if I make a few minor mistakes on the way.

Whether you’re parenting a four-year-old or navigating a complex higher ed project, the best outcomes come from staying open, checking in regularly, and slowing down just long enough to understand what is actually being asked for.